Resolving Conflict Biblically

By Andy Callis

COVID-19 has certainly caused an increase in stress for families. Many things have changed all at once: school schedules, work schedules, more time at home, less to do, more time with family, less time with friends, etc. It’s all a recipe for some challenging times!

 

With the increased time at home and all the previously mentioned factors, conflict is bound to happen at home. How will you and your family handle it? My hope is that you’ll handle it biblically and with much grace.

 

If you’re not sure how to handle conflict biblically or just a great refresher, I highly recommend the book The Peacemaker by Ken Sande. Sande shows how the heart of God resonates towards making peace. He begins his case by showing from Scripture just how much God has done to make peace with us through the blood of the cross (Rom. 5:1). He continues to challenge us to be just like Him in our relationships with one another. He provides a lot of practical, biblical advice on resolving conflict depending on where you are at with your opponent on what he calls “The Slippery Slope” of conflict.

 

Don’t be a peace-breaker (too aggressive) or a peace-faker (too passive). Be a peacemaker in your home during this time!

 


 

If you’d prefer the cliffnotes on this book, see the The Peacemaker Book Analysis – an overview of its key points. God bless!
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One Another | Each Other

agitateOne of our great goals this year as a pastoral team is to encourage us collectively, corporately, as a body to step off the sideline and into the game.  We want to be encouraging our body here to be participating members of the body of Christ: growing, changing, overflowing, ministering, serving, being edified and edifying members of the local church.  That we would come here on Sunday mornings not just as a bunch of consumers, but that we would come and consume so that we could turn around and contribute. 

The Membership Matters series is really for this purpose: we want to exalt your view of assembling together as God’s people: His bride, the church. We want your love for the church to grow. We want your desire to be a participating member of the local church to grow.

It’s not meant to manipulate you in any way. It’s not meant to be heavy handed in any way.  It’s meant to exalt your view. To call you into the game.

We began this series last week talking about the subject matter of assembly.  Ben preached last week from Hebrews 10 encouraging us “not to neglect meeting together as some are in the habit of doing”. But not only are we not to neglect meeting together, we are “meet together all the more as we see the Day approaching”.  Assembly is very important.  We live in a world today that does not value interdependence. We live in a culture that values independence.  Go your own way. Do your own thing. Forge your own path. But that’s not what the bible presents us with.  The bible tells us that we are one in Christ of many. That we are an individual, but yet we were saved not only to be an individual, but saved to be a part of a collective body.  We ought to be meeting together, encouraging one another, stirring one another up towards love and good deeds. 

That language – “stir one another up” – the original language there, the Greek behind your translation literally means “to agitate one another”.  Not like my 12-year-old son and my 11-year-old daughter agitate one another, but to agitate one another in a positive fruitful way.

Most of you probably have a washing machine at home. You put those clothes in the washing machine along with some laundry detergent. How does that washing machine clean your clothes?  It agitates them.  Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

You cannot obey that very precept unless you are assembling together with God’s people.  You can’t stir one another up towards love and good deeds.  Neither can you be stirred up to love and good deeds if you’re not meeting together regularly, consistently, faithfully with God’s people.  Not only can you not obey that command, but you can’t obey the 35+ one-anothers that come to us in the New Testament.

Encourage one another.

Build one another up.

Pray for one another. 

Carry one another’s burdens.  

Love one another. 

Serve one another.

And on and on and on and on.

You can’t do that if you’re not in close proximity to the body of which you are an integral part if you know Jesus savingly.


One Another | Each Other Passages

1. Be at peace with each other. (Mark 9:50)

2. Wash one another’s feet. (John 13:14)

3. Love one another. (John 13:34)

4. Love one another. (John 13:34)

5. Love one another. (John 13:35)

6. Love one another. (John 15:12)

7. Love one another. (John 15:17)

8. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. (Romans 12:10)

9. Honor one another above yourselves. (Romans 12:10)

10. Live in harmony with one another. (Romans 12:16)

11. Love one another. (Romans 13:8)

12. Stop passing judgment on one another. (Romans 14:13)

13. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you. (Romans 15:7)

14. Instruct one another. (Romans 15:14)

15. Greet one another with a holy kiss. (Romans 16:16)

16. When you come together to eat, wait for each other. (1 Corinthians 11:33)

17. Have equal concern for each other. (1 Corinthians 12:25)

18. Greet one another with a holy kiss. (1 Corinthians 16:20)

19. Greet one another with a holy kiss. (2 Corinthians 13:12)

20. Serve one another in love. (Galatians 5:13)

21. If you keep on biting and devouring each other…you will be destroyed by each other. (Galatians 5:15)

22. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. (Galatians 5:26)

23. Carry each other’s burdens. (Galatians 6:2)

24. Be patient, bearing with one another in love. (Ephesians 4:2)

25. Be kind and compassionate to one another. (Ephesians 4:32)

26. Forgiving each other. (Ephesians 4:32)

27. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. (Ephesians 5:19)

28. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)

29. In humility consider others better than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)

30. Do not lie to each other. (Colossians 3:9)

31. Bear with each other. (Colossians 3:13)

32. Forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. (Colossians 3:13)

33. Teach…[one another] (Colossians 3:16)

34. Admonish one another (Colossians 3:16)

35. Make your love increase and overflow for each other. (1 Thessalonians 3:12)

36. Love each other. (1 Thessalonians 4:9)

37. Encourage each other.1 Thessalonians 4:18)

38. Encourage each other. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

39. Build each other up. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

40. Encourage one another daily. Hebrews 3:13)

41. Spur one another on toward love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)

42. Encourage one another. (Hebrews 10:25)

43. Do not slander one another. (James 4:11)

44. Don’t grumble against each other. (James 5:9)

45. Confess your sins to each other. (James 5:16)

46. Pray for each other. (James 5:16)

47. Love one another deeply, from the heart. (1 Peter 3:8)

48. Live in harmony with one another. (1 Peter 3:8)

49. Love each other deeply. (1 Peter 4:8)

50. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. (1 Peter 4:9)

51. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others. (1 Peter 4:10)

52. Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another. 1 Peter 5:5)

53. Greet one another with a kiss of love. (1 Peter 5:14)

54. Love one another. (1 John 3:11)

55. Love one another. (1 John 3:23)

56. Love one another. (1 John 4:7)

57. Love one another. (1 John 4:11)

58. Love one another. (1 John 4:12)

59. Love one another. (2 John 5)

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Respect

This past Sunday, Pastor Eric taught from Mark 12 about the beloved son.

In the parable, the tenants showed disrespect to the landowner by rejecting his servants, one after another, even to the point of killing his beloved son. Pastor Eric helped us understand how this related to the Israelites rejecting the prophets and eventually, Jesus Himself. [You can listen or watch the whole message at https://capebiblechapel.org/resources/]

But this isn’t just a message to scoff at the Israelites’ response. We, by God’s grace, are children of the promise.

How, then, can we show respect for God’s beloved Son?

In his message, Pastor Eric referenced a short article by John Piper, How to Drink Orange Juice to the Glory of God. This quick read shows us how even our most mundane, routine actions can serve to glorify Him if we do so in faith, with gratitude and humility.

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So let’s get practical, brothers and sisters…what part of your day glorifies God?

This isn’t a question to condemn, but to spark an awareness of the Giver of good things. It’s meant to provoke us to use our lives, even the every-day parts, to build His kingdom.

 

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

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Radically Ordinary Hospitality

By: Jessie Yount

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I recently read a couple of books by Rosaria Butterfield, “The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert” and “The Gospel Comes With a House Key”.  Read…I guess I should say devoured.  Rosaria oozes the kind of practical, loving Christianity I desire to show to others.  Here’s my brief two cents about these two books.

Rosaria’s personal story is beautiful.  Not only in how God works to change us before we really seek Him, but also how drastically God changes the desires of our heart once we understand the Gospel.

I relate well to her academic background and her skepticism of conservatives (especially evangelical Christians) and appreciate how openly she shares how she used to feel.  I also appreciated that she doesn’t sugar-coat her experience of becoming a follower of Jesus.  “Although grateful, I did not perceive conversion to be ‘a blessing.’ It was a train wreck.”  She also admits to missing various aspects of her life before Jesus, “grieving” the loss.  I love her honesty.

What I loved most about her story of coming to genuine faith in Christ is the people God placed in her life to move her towards Him.  She calls what they showed her “radically ordinary hospitality.”  It’s creating space in our homes and our lives (physically and in our management of time) to welcome the world into a Christian home and a Christian life.  She says “ordinary”, and it is.  But I wouldn’t say it is easy.  Not in the pace of life we tend to set for ourselves.

She brings a refreshingly honest and biblical perspective to what sin is.  She calls out the church for the ways it pushes lost sinners away instead of persistently drawing them in.  She demands that the family of God be a family Monday through Saturday, in addition to Sunday mornings.  And she points to Jesus as offering real solutions to the brokenness of our world.

In a world of so many hypocritical Christians, I pray for more Rosarias.

 

*Topics in her books include (but are definitely not limited to): hospitality, fostering and adoption, the LGBTQ community, homeschooling, church planting, prison ministry, Sabbath keeping, and psalm singing.

**The opinions expressed in this review are that of the author and do not imply an endorsement of or support of these books or their author by Cape Bible Chapel.

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Heroes

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I picked up a copy of “Shadow of the Almighty” from our church library today.  It’s the biography of missionary Jim Elliot, written by his wife, Elizabeth.  I’ve only read to page 14 so far, but already, I have something I want to share.

In the introduction, Elizabeth is reflecting on the idea of heroes.  She recalls being with high school and college students and asking who their heroes were.  The students first had to decide on a definition for hero, and then still struggled to say they whether they had any heroes or people they wanted to be “like”.  She laments this, as compared to her own memories of many childhood heroes.  After listing some of her own (Gideon, David, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, Hans the Hero of Haarlem, Florence Nightingale, and Abraham Lincoln), she then proceeds to reflect on a few who embodied Hebrews 13:7[i].

This one, about her neighbor, really struck me.

My next door neighbor, Ruth Richie, was another [hero]. To a ten-year-old girl, this fifteen-year-old was something of a goddess. She was first of all a ‘grown-up’ to me. She was also pretty, soft-spoken, feminine, and uncommonly kind to the shy and uncertain child next door. She was my heroine. I admired everything about her, wanted to do my hair like hers, and walk like her, talk like her, be like her.

Was this you?  Were you this little girl (or little boy) who was simply fascinated by that older kid?  I certainly remember when the 8th grade students came to our 1st or 2nd grade class to help with a school project.  The girls seemed so grown and confident.  I always looked for them in the hallways after that.  And I remember finding their faces in church for years afterwards.

We can never underestimate the influence we have on the next generation.  Who are you reaching?  Who are you influencing?  If no one intentionally, know that young boys and girls are still looking for examples of how to live and do and be.  They are looking as they try to develop strength and character.

The world has plenty of examples to show them.

What are you modeling to our young people?  Are you a source of what is good and holy and set apart?  Are you encouraging, patient, and ready to offer grace?  Are you willing to spend time with them and simply acknowledge them?

We aren’t perfect examples, by any means, but are we striving towards and fixed upon Jesus?  Can we offer a model of how to follow Jesus as Paul says, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.”?[ii]

Let’s talk about heroes.  Ask your kids.  Ask your neighbor’s kids.  Your nieces and nephews and cousins and grand-kids.

Ask yourself.

Who is your hero?

 

 

[i] Remember your leaders, those who first spoke God’s message to you; and reflecting upon the outcome of their life and work, follow the example of their faith

[ii] 1 Corinthians 11:1

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Diagnostic Questions: Earthly Treasure or Heavenly Treasure

In our text this past Sunday, Jesus talks about laying up treasures:

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19–21

How can you know where your treasure is?

When you go to the doctor for a particular ailment, one of the first things that doctor does is begin to ask you questions. We call these diagnostic questions. Here are some good diagnostic questions to discern if your heart is attached to earthly treasure or heavenly treasure:

A. What are the things that seem to govern your life?
B. What are the things that occupy your thoughts and daydreams?
C. What are the things that tug at your heart, your mind, and your emotions?
D. What are the things you are continually drawn to?
E. What are the things that you worry and fret over the most?
F. What are the things you fear losing the most?
G. What are the things by which you measure yourself and others?
H. What are the things you don’t think you could be happy without?

Listen to the full message or read the whole manuscript at http://capebiblechapel.org/resources

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The Valley of Vision

ValleyOfVision

We wanted to make you aware of a beautiful resource which Banner of Truth has made available free online: The Valley of Vision – A Collection of Puritan Prayers.

It’s not intended to replace your own prayers with God, but rather to inspire and challenge you in the depth and honesty of your time with God.

Rather than try to explain the beauty of this collection, just visit the Banner of Truth website and read for yourself and let these prayers serve as a “cloud of witnesses” to draw you closer to Jesus.

Options to purchase the book (print and digital) are also available through Banner of Truth

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1 sent

By: Jessie Yount

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Remember the excitement of finding a penny or a nickel on the ground when you were a child?  It doesn’t bring the same rush of emotion when you’re an adult, does it?  I noticed this recently even with our 12-year old son.  He found a penny on the ground at the park and while he did make a comment about it, there wasn’t any enthusiasm in his voice.

But a couple of friends were there with us.  One asked him, “You know what you’re supposed to do when you find a penny, right?”  My son replied, “Yeah, you pick it up and have good luck.”

But that wasn’t the answer she was looking for.  She said, “Well, a penny is worth one cent; c-e-n-t.  But think of it as one sent; s-e-n-t.  When you find a penny, pick it up and take a moment to pray for a missionary – someone who is “sent” to share the Gospel with others.”

What a great reminder to pray for those laboring for His Kingdom.  And an especially easy way to encourage kids (and ourselves – if we’re being honest) to be more intentional in praying for missions.

Since then, I’ve wondered where this cute saying came from.  So I turned to a reputable source – google – to dig up some history.  And while I didn’t find its source of origin, I did find another brief story from Randy Merrill about “cents” and “sents”.

Years ago a man told me to remember that a penny was one cent. He said “If you ever find a penny, stop, pick it up and pray for one sent by God: a missionary or an evangelist.”

Today I received several very thoughtful gifts. Yet one of the simplest was a little bag of pennies given by two people who said that over the last year when they picked up a stray penny, they put it in a bag and prayed for us.

Could you buy anything as valuable with a small bag of pennies?

Yesterday, The Chapel commissioned three groups of students who will be spending their summer on mission for the Gospel (one team will spend two years abroad).  When you find a penny, pick it up.  And pray for these students and for the seeds of Gospel truth to fall on good soil – that they might bear fruit, fruit that will last. (John 15:16)

4-23 commissioning

 

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More than Sunday

By: Jessie Yount

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I cherish spring time.  There is something so sweet about this time of year – watching the way God has created the earth to replenish itself each year.  Just this morning, my inner voice shouted “Look at all that green!”  The sight of a field filled with new grass; barren trees sporting budding leaves; birds resuming their songs – it’s incredible.  Each year, He is faithful to renew.

Part of the reason spring is so fascinating is because it follows winter – a season of sleep and stillness.  Long months spent in coldness and decaying leaves.  Would spring be as joyful if it followed summer?

So it is with Easter morning.  The significance and celebration on Sunday stem from what Christ has overcome.  The dark prayerful hours spent in Gethsemane, his flogging and mocking.  His crucifixion.  Our Lord was killed so that He could rise as our Savior.  He chose to be separated from God – the penalty for our sin – so that we can be called sons and daughters of God.

Praise God He is no longer on that cross and no longer in the tomb.  “He is not here; He has Risen!”  His resurrection on that Sunday, His defeat of death, means we can spend eternity in the presence of the most holy God.

But we must remember what Sunday follows.  Jesus tells us to.  In Luke 22, during His last meal with His disciples, Jesus “took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, ‘This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.’”

Take time to reflect on the emotional last hours of Jesus’ life.  Read the historical accounts in scripture.

Understanding more fully the agonizing obedience Jesus displayed can only lead to greater joy in accepting the undeserved grace of the cross.

Remember what happened on that Friday more than two thousand years ago.  And then – in its proper season – celebrate Easter Sunday.

 If you are in the Cape Girardeau area, we invite you to the Journey to the Cross.  The Journey to the Cross is an interactive, multisensory, meditative experience designed to guide you toward a deeper understanding of the death and resurrection of Christ and the life changing message of the cross.  The eight “Experience Stations” focus on Christ’s love and forgiveness as each station highlights an event or principle surrounding Easter. This free Easter Experience will be set up in The Chapel gym and will be open from 5:00-7:00pm on Good Friday and 30 minutes before and after the 9:00 & 10:30 services on Easter Sunday.

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A Question from Andy

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Andy Callis – Student Ministries Pastor

I’m always a fan of bringing in the new year. I really don’t make many resolutions anymore (because they usually don’t last through February), but I naturally think, “Hey, I’ve got a fresh start,” and “What will be the defining theme for me this year?” As I think about these things for myself personally, I certainly am wondering the same things for CBC.

As I reflect back to 2015, our “fresh start” began with a lot of transitions and a lot of questions. That continued to be our defining theme for the year centering on one big question, “Who will be our next pastor?”. God has answered that big question for us and shown us that Eric is our man. We’ll continue to experience transition in 2016 but I believe it will be a year God uses to really clarify our mission at the Chapel.

What do people in our church and in the community think when they hear “Cape Bible Chapel”?

I believe that God will use Eric’s leadership and gifts to help us as a staff and as a church to figure out just what we want that to be. I look forward to seeing God reveal that to us and the excitement it brings to everyone in the congregation as we grow more to “know Him and make Him known”!

-Pastor Andy

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